Holiday Stress is Real: Time to Set Boundaries for Your Well-being

Holiday stress isn’t a myth—it’s very real. For men, it’s often the pressure of managing the mounting bills. For women, however, it can feel like the weight of the world rests on their shoulders. The family gatherings, the food preparation, ensuring everyone is comfortable, planning activities, cleaning, decorating—women often end up juggling it all. And it’s exhausting. 

I know this feeling all too well. Growing up, I watched my mother and grandmother get incredibly stressed during festivals and celebrations. I remember my mother being so overwhelmed that she’d end up with a migraine by the end of the day. The pressure to create the perfect experience for everyone was too much, and it took a toll on her health. 

As an adult, a mom, and a wife, I made a conscious decision to break that cycle. I realized that, while traditions and celebrations are important, so is my own well-being. The holidays didn’t have to mean chaos, stress, and exhaustion for me. So, I learned to stand up for myself and set boundaries. 

Here’s what I changed:

1. Cutting Down the Menu: Instead of preparing an elaborate spread that left me in the kitchen for hours, I simplified. I started making fewer dishes—ones that were easy to prepare but still meaningful. It saved me time, and you know what? No one complained. In fact, everyone enjoyed the simpler meals just as much.

2. Simplifying Decorations: Gone were the days of over-the-top decorations. I scaled back to something small and easy, just enough to bring the festive spirit into the house without turning it into a project that ate up all my time and energy.

3. Fewer Social Gatherings: I stopped hosting every celebration and reduced the number of people I had over for meals. Instead, I focused on smaller, more intimate gatherings that didn’t leave me feeling like a hostess on duty the whole time.

4. Prioritizing Celebrations: Balancing the Indian and American calendars for holidays is a lot. I made the decision to scale things down, prioritizing the celebrations that really mattered to us as a family. Others were kept small or skipped altogether.

5. Delegating or Skipping Tasks: I made it clear that not everything was going to depend on me alone. If something needed to happen, other family members had to take responsibility for it. And if no one stepped up? It didn’t happen. Simple as that. No guilt, no stress.

6. Taking Time for Myself: This was perhaps the biggest change. If I needed to rest, I did. I stayed in bed if I wanted, without feeling guilty about it. Everyone in the house could manage without me for a day—whether that meant cooking for themselves or doing things they might have expected me to do. Sometimes, I’d spend a day completely by myself, just to recharge.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that my mental and physical health doesn’t take a back seat just because it’s a holiday. In fact, it’s even more crucial to prioritize during those times. Like many women, I’m constantly working on multiple fronts—whether it’s at home, at work, or within the community. The holidays are supposed to be a time for joy and connection, not exhaustion and burnout. 

By creating boundaries, I ensured that family celebrations had to be negotiated with me, not just planned around me. I refuse to be the default organizer for every event. Instead, I choose what I can handle and delegate the rest.

The key is simple: set your boundaries and let go of the guilt. You deserve to enjoy the holidays just as much as anyone else. Your life should be a celebration year-round, not a series of stressful obligations.

So this holiday season, I encourage you to do the same. Reflect on what truly matters, simplify where you can, and make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Because when you’re at peace, you can bring real joy into your home.